Gay Psychological Thriller Review: The Teacher Inside Me
The Teacher Inside Me, a gay psychological thriller by Anthony Auswat | My rating: 4 of 5 stars Goodreads | Amazon | Bookbub
Introduction
Anthony Auswat’s novel, The Teacher Inside Me, got banned from Wattpad after a whole boatload of reads. It’s a gripping, well-written, and roller coaster ride of a novel about a problematic teacher and a student who is in completely over his head.
Crossing literally all of the hard lines for me personally as an educator, I struggled at first because the depictions of the developing relationship made me so uncomfortable. I pushed through to the part of the book where everything goes sideways, and honestly found that part easier to read.
What This Book is (Thankfully) NOT
This is not a story glorifying some fetishization of a student/teacher relationship. It’s a caution. This is not a MM romance. It’s a gay psychological thriller. Please be aware.
I struggled through the first 30 to 40% of this book due to the obvious predatory behavior from the teacher, Mr. Hilton. Right from the start, I sensed that there was something else going on. The student, Liam, is fixated on Mr. Hilton. And maybe he’s on the spectrum. Maybe his feelings have been broadcast live and in person every day, front row, to the object of his fixation. While his feelings are naive and confused, Mr. Hilton’s are not.
Beyond it being a completely taboo relationship, Mr. Hilton is a deeply flawed character. Mentally unstable, manipulative, evil. He really is the darkness. This gay thriller will take you on an absolute roller-coaster of a ride.
The story is a warning, a cautionary tale about what can happen when unstable, emotionally manipulative people with a huge dark side orchestrate opportunities and take advantage of young people who aren’t emotionally mature enough to know better.
Blurb
A forbidden student-teacher obsession. A queer coming-of-age thriller. A story that lingers like a bruise you can’t stop touching.
Liam is just trying to finish high school and keep his secrets to himself. Mr. Hilton, his English teacher, is everything Liam shouldn’t want—straight, married, and way off-limits—but possibly…interested. What starts as an innocent crush blurs into something more real, more intense, and more dangerous than either of them can control.
Because some lines should not be crossed. Some lessons can’t be unlearned. And some desires come at a terrible price.
The Teacher Inside Me is an emotionally charged LGBTQ+ psychological thriller about longing, power, and the darkness within us all.
Originally racking up 2.6 million reads by a global audience on Wattpad before it was banned, this newly revised and completely uncensored edition invites you back into the shadows—rawer, deeper, and more haunting than ever.
Perfect for fans of:
– dark academia tangled with forbidden queer romance
– slow-burn obsession filled with dangerous twists
– literary LGBTQ+ fiction with psychological depth
– banned novels
– vintage pulp paperbacks
– stories about boys who should know better but absolutely don’tThis is the book they tried to bury—but The Teacher Inside Me is too disruptive to ever disappear.
322 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication June 11, 2025
Genre:
crime, psychological thriller, LGBTQ+ coming of age, literary LGBTQ+ fiction
Invited to Review
The author of this book reached out to me to invite me to read it. And hey, you know what? I read some highly raunchy things. But I discovered that reading something that depicts a teacher knowingly manipulating his way into inappropriate situations with a(n) (of age) high school student might be one of my only hard limits when it comes to reading material.
Plot
As a teacher, I find nothing thrilling about a predatory relationship between an adult teacher and a student. It doesn’t matter in my state if the student is 18 when in the relationship. The teacher would still lose their license and be in jail.
That power balance is why, and Mr. Hilton uses that to his full advantage here, seeing and capitalizing on a sick sort of opportunity with Liam.
Liam is fixated on Mr. Hilton. Mr. Hilton asks him to come by his classroom, and Liam overhears him on the phone with his wife, talking her through an intimate moment. Liam walks right, right into it with his heart eyes on full display, unable to see the situation for what it is. Soon after, Mr. Hilton “accidentally” sends Liam an inappropriate picture.
Hired to tutor Mr. Hilton’s young wife, he enters into situation after situation where Mr. Hilton tempts him, teases him with vaguely inappropriate peeks into his life. To readers, this part is uncomfortable because of how transparent a manipulation it is. But Liam, he’s his own worst enemy. He doesn’t know enough, he’s socially awkward enough, he’s just hopeful enough, to overlook the obvious setup. He just sees an opportunity to live out his fantasy. That’s exactly what Mr. Hilton wants him to see.
Things take a sinister turn fairly quickly. But Liam is riding high on his first sexual encounters so he ignores the massive and plentiful red flags. How much of what happens is exactly what Mr. Hilton set up to happen, and how much is him taking advantage of the situation? You’ll have to read to decide for yourself.
Theme Exploration
The Teacher Inside Me explores complex themes through depictions of flawed characters and the pitfalls of believing unreliable narrators.
Inadvisable Fixations vs. Unrequited Love
Some fixations should be avoided. Some love should remain unrequited. The facts are, Liam probably made his fixation well known long before Mr. Hilton saw the chance to take advantage of it. Readers aren’t privy to the lead-up. What happened before the novel begins? What did Mr. Hilton’s relationship look like before our introduction in Liam’s English class? Was his marriage already on the rocks?
Regardless of what might have led up to it, the seemingly straight Mr. Hilton recognizes Liam’s feelings of unrequited love. As transparent as most young people are, it is logical that Liam had been obvious about his fixation with Mr. Hilton. Mr. Hilton saw this window of opportunity. It led to Liam being taken advantage of.
It would have been better for Liam to ignore his growing interest in his teacher, to recognize the inappropriateness. As his sister’s favorite movie suggests, he should have Let It Go.
The Destructive Nature of Passion
Passion can be violent, dangerous. It can be sensual, overwhelming lust. The lines blur when emotions are high. But in this, we see characters lose control of their passions. And then try to make justifications to themselves and others. Try to manipulate the situation so somebody will be convinced they’re overreacting, that there’s no way they’re being taken advantage of.
Damaging passion also affects Liam’s family dynamics. Both of his parents have substance abuse problems. They are driven by their addictions, not by their intellect, nor by their great success in life. Their impulses rule their lives. Liam often bears the burden of dealing with them both: his mother’s depressive episodes when drinking, his father’s anger and violence. Liam is the victim of their passion and lack of impulse control.
Emotional Maturity is Important
Adults ruled by their emotions make excuses. They say they just lose control, they can’t help it, they can’t control their impulses. The characters in The Teacher in Me are often emotionally immature, making decisions that someone in full control would not. Mr. Hilton presents his instability early, early on. The minute he waves his gun in Liam’s father’s face, that should set off every alarm in Liam’s head. But Liam’s parents are emotionally immature, too. He isn’t learning from adults who could help him develop his own emotional maturity, the ability to reflect and understand both his and others’ motivations. And that’s almost his downfall.
Internalized Homophobia
There are a lot of slurs tossed around in this book, from adults, from students, and even Liam directed at himself and others. Liam is uncomfortable being gay, has gotten nothing but negative comments about gay people from his parents and his peers his whole life. It’s only logical that a large part of his struggle is internal. He has to come to terms with himself and let go of the internalized homophobia. Beyond the more critical and perilous challenges in the story, the personal growth Liam goes through is the most rewarding to see through to the end.
One must ask how much of Liam’s inappropriate fixation on someone who should never be a possible partner is a result of his deep internalized homophobia. Mr. Hilton, were he an upstanding and professional educator and not an unhinged manipulator, would never pursue anything with Liam. He should be a “safe” fixation, in Liam’s inexperienced eyes. Which makes it all the more disgusting that Mr. Hilton uses Liam to orchestrate and ultimately cover up terrible things.
Glows
Incredible Writing
I can’t believe this gay psychological thriller was on Wattpad, but I don’t mean that in the way you’re thinking. The writing, the story, the twists and turns, it’s just impeccably good. The foreshadowing is spot on, and woah. It’s such a good story. It’s brilliant, way too good for Wattpad, and I hope this author has a spectacular launch to this book.
Chekhov
Chekhov’s Gun, folks. If something is in a story, it must be used or important in some way. Right? So I have to commend the author’s use of a Chekhov play to tie in important themes, provide important foreshadowing, and set the overall mood. Indeed, if you look at some of the major themes present in Seagulls by Chekhov, The Teacher Inside Me mirrors many of the important elements of the human existence that the play does. Master class, really.
Grows
Uncomfortable Intimate Scenes
I understand why the intimate scenes needed to be on page, as far as the narrative goes. However, because reading about this sort of relationship is such a hard limit for me, the portion of the story leading up to everything falling apart disturbed me more than the actual psychological thriller portion.
It’s tough to read through that part of the book. I can’t say otherwise. But ultimately, the Teacher Inside Me is a warning about why a young person should be aware of adults trying to push boundaries. Someone should not imagine pursuing a relationship with a person who has so much more power, like Mr. Hilton, someone in a position of authority. It has every potential of resulting in something awful, as Liam finds out here.
Recommendation
I highly recommend this book. I think readers of psychological thrillers will like it more than MM romance readers. For MM romance readers, this might not hit all your buttons. The story might even trigger some. I suggest learning about the plot before reading. Don’t spoil the book, but it might be a good idea to know a little about it.
Overall
This story impressed me. It surprised me, made me uncomfortable, and ultimately had me rooting for Liam, hoping he’d overcome and come out the victor.
Reviews
I received a free copy of this book via BookSirens and am voluntarily leaving a review. I write reviews on my blog, Goodreads, Bookbub, Amazon, and more. If you want me to read and review your upcoming novel read my review policy and submit a contact form.
